Wedding Video: Childhood montage + Story of how we met

Our graphic designer is a young & very talented lady from Malaysia. She designed our church wedding invite, church program, wedding poster and also created our childhood video montage + an animation on how we met. 

The video was shown during our wedding dinner on 29th September 2013 at Grand Hyatt Singapore before our 1st march in. I think it's very important to have a proper video done for your wedding guests because most of them might not even know us personally as they are our parents' friends, so it's good for them to know a bit of a back story. At least they won't feel like they are at a wedding where they don't know anything about the couple at all.. it's good to feel involved. :)

Click to watch the video! :)

We also used her designs for our photobooth!

The vendor for our photobooth is Baicapture.

Chee Ching is extremely patient and efficient. She was willing to make edits until we were satisfied and she always replies to her emails/whatsapp messages on time. Do consider her if you are looking for a graphic designer. You can communicate with her via email/whatsapp and do the payment via paypal or bank transfer to her Malaysian bank account. 

Highly recommended! :)

Visit her website for more information and also to view her other works!

http://www.cheechingy.com/

My Baptism!

I was baptized today! Joyful joyful day! :)

Group picture with Pastor Collin, Le bf, Le sister & Wany!

There's a lot of Christians who are regular church-goers but they don't want to go through water baptism for various reasons. Some feel that it is not necessary, some feel that it is a solid commitment that they are not ready for, etc etc.  I don't want to go into detailed arguments or discussions about baptism as there are many extreme views about it. 

Our trust in Christ is our salvation, not water baptism. You don't have to be baptized to go to heaven because your salvation is hinged in your faith in Jesus Christ. 

But personally, I think that every Christian should be baptized. Jesus was baptized by John and there are many references about baptism in the bible. Most importantly, being baptized is a public declaration to the world that you are committed to your faith. Water baptism is an outward expression of an inward conviction. It signifies "Yes, I am a child of God and believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord & Savior". 

To me, it's the same logic like a marriage. You can be in a relationship or cohabit with your partner for many years, but marrying your partner is a public declaration of your love and promise of forever to him/her and only him/her, no one else. It is the "guarantee plus chop" move that cements your faith and commitment to your partner. Can you say to your partner in private "I love you very much and want to be with you", but yet in public you pretend that he/her is only a normal friend of yours and you don't want to admit that he/she is special to you and you are in a relationship? You have to make the leap of faith and the commitment before you can enjoy a satisfying and fulfilling relationship. 

These are my personal views and not everyone may agree with me.. Well, I am not be the best person to explain about baptism, so you can read more about it online or meet with a Pastor who can advise and explain to you in more details.

There were a total of 121 baptism candidates and I was the 3rd person in the group to be baptized! I still don't know how they arrange the candidates cos I was looking around and it wasn't by alphabetical order based on name, nor is it by age or address. I was also not the first few who registered for the Baptism.. But I am not complaining! Happy that I am the 3rd because that means I can finish quick and chill while the remaining candidates group gets baptized. 

Most of all, the water will be super clean! We are not required to shower before going into the pool.... so you can imagine.. I bathed before going to church but not everyone does that!! I have become such a germaphobe that I've stopped swimming cos those are cesspools of bacteria!! Le bf is encouraging me to go swimming with him but I am quite hesitant cos the chlorine will damage my hair (I can't do swimming caps.. they cramp my style) and there are bastards who enjoy urinating in the pools.. URGH. I actually saw shit in a swimming pool before. A long piece of brown shit! Traumatizing to the maximum. T_T" I need to overcome my germaphobe problem, but thank God that I am 3rd!! Heh heh! Maybe He knows I am a germaphobe so somehow I am in the front of the line.. Wahahahahahahaha! God is good!

Group picture before our baptism!

I was trying to spot Le bf and the rest of my supporters in the Sanctuary.. but I can't see them! -_- I knew he was sitting on the left side of the auditorium but there were too many people, so I tried to look around discreetly for him but failed. LOL! He took a few pictures of me though.. haha!

After the group photo-taking, we went down to level 1 where the Baptism Pool is. It is deeper than I thought! Usually it is hidden and disguised as a stage. The water is nicely heated and the process is very fast. We queued up according to our numbers, two pastors will hold us and say a prayer before dipping us backwards into the water.

A photographer will take our picture before we are dipped. Only baptism candidates are allowed in the area, so there is a live screening of the process that is being broadcast in real time at the Sanctuary for our friends and family to witness the process. Le bf took a video of me on the big screen (screen shot below).. Someone will read out each candidate's testimony and it's like rapping because the whole process for each candidate took less than a minute!!

Therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. (Romans 6:4)

Mad efficient! There are 116 candidates (5 did not turn up) and the whole ceremony including the opening speech, prayer, exhortation, group picture, baptism and certificate presentation only took less than 2.5 hours!

Le bf was seated too far to capture a clear picture of me collecting my Baptism cert from my pastor.. but it's alright! Plenty of pictures with Pastor Collin on our wedding day cos he will be solemnizing our wedding!

Afterwards we had dinner at Changi Airport T3's TCC! 

Wany had the 50% discount for her birthday month in July for the total bill! YAY! Silly girl forgot her membership card and her elder sis had to bring it down for us, but good thing too cos she can join us for dinner! The more the merrier! :)

Unfortunately I cannot break my record of last year's pig out session with the 50% discount because I am still recovering from my stomach flu and I can't eat too much without throwing up. Last year I went with Wany & Nathaniel (who couldn't come today cos he had to work) and we ate 5 main courses, 4 desserts, lots of side dishes & drinks among the 3 of us! Waiting for Le bf's birthday month in September and we can go pig out again when I am well!

I bought a new Miffy mascot doll for my sister when I went to Tokyo with Le bf earlier this month and she was so happy! Haha! He bought her a Miffy umbrella which is so cute, he said that she might wish that it rains everyday so she can use it.. Haiyo! Anyways it has UV protection so she can also use it when it's sunny! :) Now she has both the original Dutch version which I bought in Amsterdam and the Japanese version of Miffy!

Our wedding announcement

I know I've been neglecting my blog.. My entries are spaced further and further apart. I've been so busy with work and trying hard to catch up on my sleep or spending time with Le bf and his family during my off time that I don't have time to blog, but I am very active on Twitter still! :)

Well.. in case you don't follow me on Twitter, I have a big announcement to make! 

❤ WE ARE GETTING MARRIED! ❤

Is this news big enough to make up for not blogging for more than 1 month?

When I say married, it's the full wedding with solemnization, church wedding and dinner banquet! The date is set in September this year and I will only reveal the actual date and send out the official "Save the Date" notices when I've paid all the deposit for the venues.

I am so happy and excited, I'm still feeling the high even though it's been 2 weeks since we officially started planning for our wedding!

We have informed our close friends about our decision to get married and 90% of the reaction is "WAH! WHY SO FAST!?". 

Seriously? Before we decided to get married, each and everyone of you have been pestering us to get married and even kept pushing us for a date yet now you are asking us why so fast? Only a few like Tabby and my sister are super happy without the "Why so fast" question.

I've done a lot these 2 weeks. Initially I wanted to hire a wedding planner but in the end I decided to do everything by myself cos I am a control freak. Nathaniel called me a Bridezilla.. I beg to differ. I am just a very efficient and organized Bride-to-be.. it's difficult liaising with vendors and working my fucked-up night shift timing, but I am trying my best to do it.

What I've done so far:

1. Sourced for venues and confirmed the dates for
• Church Wedding & Solemnization (Paying deposit soon)
• Dinner Banquet at a hotel (Signing contract soon)
2. Confirmed and finalized my Bridal Party (7 bridesmaids + 1 attendant)
3. Researched and shortlisted photographer, videographer & makeup artists
4. Researched and shortlisted Bridesmaid dresses & Bridal gowns
5. Confirmed and paid for Dessert Buffet Table for the Church wedding
6. Researched for photobooth

And many many more... more than I can remember now...

I printed out ALL the banquet prices for Singapore hotels and actually bind them into 2 books. I also emailed ALL the hotels in Singapore asking for weekend dinner availability. (Mama Chew doesn't want Sentosa hotels, so I didn't bother finding out from those).

Most people book their wedding dinner 1 year in advance so I am being very ambitious to try to find a date in 6 months time.. but I managed to find it! Yay me! Initially I got 12-Oct-2013 for Mandarin Oriental, but Yaya & Joyce insisted that it's an inauspicious date to marry and tried very hard to dissuade me.. Both Brendan & I are not pantang (superstitious), but in the end I chose September because of the package and date offered by the other hotel.

As for the "Why so fast question", this is a very complicated question to answer (which I will try to explain below), but the simple answer will be..

In December, we tried to apply for our 1st BTO with HDB at Toa Payoh. Failed miserably.. our queue number was 1500++ and there were only like 300 units. In February we tried for Tampines BTO but also failed.. this time not that bad, but our queue number was still doubled that what was offered. We are not bidding for the latest BTO cos the locations are Punggol, Sengkang & Bukit Batok. We want somewhere in the East side, nearer to his parents.

Our main purpose to apply for the BTO is for investment purposes because we planned to live with his parents after we get married. We don't need the house to live in and we can just leave it till it's time to sell it since property prices kept jumping every year.

Back in late January, I had the sudden thought to go overseas to further my studies. I was disillusioned and jaded about my prospects in Singapore. Our government kept introducing policies that are not very assuring for local born Singaporeans. I am being paid above my pay grade now and if I lose my job, it will be very difficult for me to find a similar job that can pay me what I am getting now.. though I am also feeling disgruntled at work because the new hires are receiving a higher basic pay than me even though I am here for 1.5yrs and I have to mentor them! On top of everything, my rental is just killing me! At SGD1500 a month, it's more than half of my take home pay and it's really downright ridiculous that I am paying so much money for a room to stay. As of this month, I've already paid SGD18000 for my rental. That's the basic gross annual salary of many Singaporeans.. and I'm just throwing that money away for a place to sleep.

If you want to preach about how I can find another cheaper place, blah blah blah.. save the effort and go do your own research on the prices of housing rent in Singapore. It has increased so much, I doubt I can find the same kind of accommodation at SGD1500 now.

So, all the factors combine together made me consider about going overseas to further my studies. Yes, it will not be easy because I am giving up my income, I am leaving Le bf in Singapore, I am going back to full time study after a long hiatus from studying.. But I was determined to make it work. For my future, for our future (with Le bf) cos we can have an option to migrate to another country.

I discussed with Le bf extensively about my plans and he was very supportive though he couldn't bear to be apart from me for a few years. He even offered to be my guarantor for my study loans and brainstormed for days on how he can extend his business into Australia so he can always travel there to be with me (but it's difficult cos his business dealings is usually with China and USA).

I told Tabby about my idea and she suggested that I go to Perth to further my studies. She very generously invited me to stay at her house for the duration of my study for free and help me in anyway I can. I really don't know how to express my gratitude for having such a wonderful friend who don't hesitate to help me even though she will be inconvenienced.

As advised by Tabby, I researched on the schools and courses I want to take, I went to IDP and submitted all my documents, found out on how I can bring Chloe over with me when I go there. Made a list of what I should do, which banks I should go to for loans.. etc.

Le bf told Papa Chew about my plans and he was taken aback because Le bf threw a bomb at him by saying "Maybe I'll migrate to Australia with Jasmine". Like seriously! I didn't know he was gonna say that but Papa Chew nearly fainted (I think), cos he is the only son, the eldest child, the eldest grandchild and he's telling Papa Chew that he's leaving Singapore for good to go overseas.

We spoke with Mama Chew together and she was trying her best to discourage me because she felt that a long distance relationship is very tough and may not work out. Also, she's worried about my career prospects as the economy is very erratic now and I may or may not be able to get a well paying job to pay back my study loans, worse still I may not get a job in Perth and have to come back to Singapore to work for a lower salary than what I have now and end up being worse off. Time wasted, money wasted and putting our relationship at risk.

However, Le bf and Tabby were very supportive of my decision and they did everything they could to help me. They encouraged me, did research for me and also urged me to do what I want to do.

Le bf and I discussed about getting married before I go for my studies. Just a simple ROM solemnization ceremony... But we gave up on that idea because it kinda defeats the purpose. We don't want to get married for any other reason except wanting to be wed to each other because we want to, not because we have to.

Many people get married for all the wrong reasons nowadays. Unplanned pregnancy, to buy a house, to move out from their parents' house, insecurity, etc. We don't want to be like them.

So we also signed up for a marriage course at our church. It is not compulsory but necessary if we want a pastor from our church to marry us. It is also a good way for us to understand each other better cos we both know being in a relationship is different from being in a marriage. Priorities and responsibilities are very different and we want to make sure we are both sure about what we want in a marriage. There were a few assessment tests we had to take and we are both surprised and glad that our affirmations and ideas of a marriage are very similar. There are further assessments we need to take and that will be in a few weeks time when our pastor meets up with us to go through the homework that we have to do. The homework is.. crazy hard. I told Le bf that those few pages left me mind-fucked cos the questions asked are so though-provoking..

Meanwhile, time goes by and I did not receive any news from IDP even though I was promised a reply (either rejection or approval) by end February. Tabby regularly text me to ask about the outcome and I always tell her "No reply yet..", which is true. She is so excited for me to go over to be with her and I feel so loved and blessed.

Le bf did not ask me about me about the outcome. I don't know the real reason because I did not ask him, but I guess he is secretly glad I did not receive any news...

But guess what? After we made the decision to get married this year and to abandon my plans to head overseas, I just received an acceptance letter from one of the Unis in Perth 2 days ago! I decided to ignore the letter because after all the waiting & discussion, I decided my heart and place belongs here in Singapore with him.

I am working in the night shift and both my timings and Le bf's clashed. I remembered one week where we did not meet for 6 days and we both missed each other like crazy. Being physically apart in Singapore is already so unbearable when we can meet up easily with just a maximum of 45mins drive away, imagine being away from each other.. in different continents (literally), 5hrs10mins by flight to see each other? It was after that week that we both realized that long distance relationship is never gonna work for us. It's not that we are insecure or clingy, we just can't stand being apart.

Le bf did not propose to me.. well, not yet. He is going to plan something and he needs to do something cos the first question / or second question after the "Why so fast?" question is "HOW YOU PROPOSE?!?!".. He need to think of something before we announce our wedding to the world cos everyone is gonna ask him. Hahahaha!

We told Papa & Mama Chew about our decision to ROM first then marry 1 or 2 years later.. they insisted that ROM is not considered marriage and we should just do everything together.. So that's how our plans for an ROM turned into a full fledged wedding.

And how did we end up deciding about going for ROM? I really don't know. I guess it's just a combination of all the factors above plus the fact that we love each other a lot and we know we are the one for each other. Marry now, marry next year, marry next decade.. it'll still be the same outcome.. we will still be together forever.

It may sound cliche or mushy, but Le bf completes me and makes my life complete. I know he feels the same way too. His presence calms me and makes me happy. We can be with each other in the same room doing our own stuff but we are happy because we can see and feel the other person's proximity. When I am in his arms, the whole world just disappears and I forget about all my unhappiness & worries I have.

I cannot imagine my life without him and it actually scares me that I am actually dependent on a person cos I've been independent for the most part of my life and my past relationships are nothing like what I have with Le bf. I actually worry when he is not beside me.. worry if he has eaten, worry that he will hurt himself, worry that he is stressed out from work.

My life used to be just me & Chloe. Imagine a bubble of protection.. inside is me and Chloe and no one else. Chloe loves me unconditionally and will never hurt me so she has been there since Day 1.

If you know me and my previous relationships, I never let any of them into the Bubble because I don't trust any of them. If they do things and say things to hurt me whilst outside the Bubble, imagine what kind of damage they can inflict on me when they are inside?!

It took me some time before I let Le bf completely into the Bubble... And now that he's in it, he actually strengthens my Bubble and made me stronger. :)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

If you understand what the bible says about love in Corinthians 13:4-8, good for you! Because you are in a beautiful relationship that's blessed by God. If you don't... well, I hope you will experience it one day. I waited all my life for someone like Le bf, and it's worth the wait and all the heartaches I went through.

I never believe in marriages because I've never met the right one before. Now I can't wait for our forever to start.

I will try to update more about my wedding planning soon. This entry has taken up a lot of my mental and emotional energy.. Good night!

I am attached! ❤

If you are a regular follower of mine on Twitter, you would have known that I am attached to Brendan now. :)

I guess it's not much of a surprise, considering that he keep appearing in my blog entries for the past few months. There's even a few comments asking if I am together with him.. Some I deleted, some I ignored. Heh.

Well, I wasn't ready to announce it to the world yet, but now I am.

He needed some time on his own but he is also ready to let everyone know.. Well, actually both of us have been "ready" for some time but I am just too lazy to come to my blog to write a proper entry about it. Hee!

We have not changed our relationship status in Facebook because we agreed that it is kinda silly to let a status in Facebook dictate our "status", if you know what I mean.

We've met our parents on both sides.. So far it's been quite positive.. and thankfully I get along with his sisters and he gets along with my sister. Actually, my sister adores him so there's no issue there.

I've never been in a relationship where the other person knows everything about me before we start the relationship.

Usually it's like: Jump in relationship>Find out more about each other>Realize character incompatibility >Unhappy and emo shit>Messy breakup

But the two of us know each other for 5 years since our SIM school days.. We've been hanging out only since 2010 after I bought my iPhone and going out for dinners almost every week or at least twice a month, just chatting and updating each other about our lives. I guess in a way my iPhone made our friendship stronger.. because I am a techie idiot and needed lots of advice from him.

I was a bit apprehensive about getting into a relationship with him at first because I have no secrets from him! I am my real self when I'm with him! I am vulgar! I don't behave like a typical feminine girl! OMG!

After seeing him with his friends and his family, I noticed that he behaves differently when he's with me compared to when he's with the others but he has not changed much even though we moved from friend status into a relationship status. That's when I realized he has also been his real self when he's with me all along though he is sweeter and more romantic to me now, which comes as a surprise because he had very little experience in relationships and he's so techie!! So I thought he's not capable of being romantic. Pleasant surprise cos he's the sweetest, most caring and romantic guy I've ever been with. :) Lesson learnt: Never assume!

We talked and discussed a lot about being in a relationship before deciding to be together. The way we discussed it was actually quite business-like.. Weighing the pros and cons because we did not want to destroy our friendship by starting a relationship and then realizing it's not workable and losing each other as a friend.

In fact, we are opposites. People say "opposites attract", but that may not be a good thing as character incompatibility will lead to lots of arguments and problems. But it's very different for the two of us. My shortcomings are his strong points, vice versa. He is a thinker, I am a do-er, etc. He is a very calm and stable person while I am exact opposite. Initially I thought our personalities will clash, cos it's different being just friends compared to being in a relationship. Instead we complement each other perfectly. :)

I am calmer and more grounded because of him. I still get frustrated sometimes when things don't go my way or when things don't happen as fast as I want them to.. but I am slowly learning to be more patient and to think more before speaking or doing something.

I feel that he's the same, though he said he see some changes in himself after being together with me. Good changes.. but I shall not elaborate cos it's his side of the story to tell.

Just like in the past, I am still counting on him to give me good advice. Just that now his status has been elevated because I am relying on him on more important and personal decisions than before. I am very indecisive and it's great having someone I can trust to make decisions for me without dictating my life (big difference there). I like asking him "A or B ah?".. And he'll reply me "A" and give me a logical explanation why it's "A" when I ask for the reason.. instead of giving me stupid comments like "Why you cannot decide?" or "A means A lah! Ask me to decide then ask so much for what?".

The main and most important thing is we communicate with each other very well. We talk about everything and anything and if there's something we need to discuss we will do it instead of having those pointless cold wars like I had with Pipimon cos he always liked to assume things and accused me of things I did not do or say. Brendan doesn't take offense to my straight-talking. In fact, he actually prefers me not beating round the bush. He tells me things in logical well-thought sentences without being judgmental or emotional about it.

Some may say it's a "honeymoon phase" for us, but for the past few months of being together, we don't have a single argument or fight. There's not a single incident that actually feels like it's leading to an argument. It's not that he gives in to me or I gives in to him and we cover up the matter by sweeping it under the rug. It's all about communication and I enjoy finally being in a relationship where I can be myself and have honest talks with my boyfriend without it turning into a shouting match or cold war.

We actually talked about us being very mild and boring cos we are not having fights like most couples (and also based on my own past experiences). However we agreed there's nothing to fight over because we communicate very well. Key to a successful relationship boils down to communication. Coming from a past relationship where I have frequent cold wars and shouting matches with my boyfriend, it's a refreshing and welcome change. But then again, we are wondering if one day we do fight over something, what would it be and how bad it will be.. Lol!

Actually our "love story" is quite a long one and involving a lot of his supporters whom are all my friends. A group of my friends actually formed a gang called "BC Gang" aka Brendan Chew Gang. The ringleader is Welly who actively tried to convert new members into his gang.

I'll blog about the whole timeline in future. It's quite a long one. :)

Last July I blogged about never going to meet the "one" in my life. Maybe somehow God heard my prayer and granted me my wish.

Words cannot express how happy I am with Brendan.. The feeling is like drifting out at sea for a long long time and weathering through so many storms that you feel like giving up and just sink and die but then suddenly you find a harbour that can shelter you and keep you safe.. That kind of summarizes how I feel.

Surprisingly everyone on both sides approves of our relationship and is very happy for us.

Well, we don't know what the future holds.. And I don't want to jinx anything yet, but I know in my heart that I have finally found my soulmate. ❤

Bye Bye Boon Keng!

I was given until 31 March 2012 to move out but I appealed and asked for an extension till 03 April 2012 because it's so hard to find a mover on Sunday and I had to work on Sundays.

Until the last minute I was still packing! The movers were scheduled to come at 2pm and I woke up at 8am and continued packing! I don't know how I amassed so much stuff. In total, I had 23 carton boxes, 2 big luggage and several other misc stuff. That's after throwing away approximately 1/3 of my belongings! 

Each time I move house, I leave behind a part of my life. 

My sister came over around 10am to help me pack and throw stuff.. I was on the verge of giving up and had the intention to burn everything because it's so tiring to pack everything you own into boxes.. She encouraged me and helped me make decisions.. "THROW! KEEP! THROW THROW THROW!".

I have a whiteboard in the kitchen and I didn't want it anymore.. guess what she wrote?

She says she want to make them guilty for chasing me out of the house.. Umm. Don't think they will care.. especially the people who comes and clean the place are mostly Bangladeshi workers.. Hahahaha!

How my bedroom looks like after being cleared off all my stuff.I am leaving the 2 bookshelves, dining table, bed, bedframe and the horrible leaking aircon behind.

How my kitchen looks like..

My living room

I gave the sofa to the mover because my neighbour didn't want it.. He said it's too big for his house.. It's sorta new with new covers so it'll be a waste to throw it away.. My sister is supervising the movers who are carrying my stuff out. That's my wardrobe! Luckily I brought it along cos the one at my new place was falling apart. T_T"

The new place was really dusty and we had to clean it.. My sister was traumatized by the toilet. =.= She volunteered to clean it for me and she spent almost 2 hours scrubbing away. It's her first time doing hard manual labour! Super touched!

My little elf. :)

Joyce came over after her exams and helped me clean my windows! :)

The lights weren't working and I had to make do with the standing lamp which is orange bulb and I don't like orange lights.. I prefer white lights.. Brendan came the very next day to help me change my lamps! He climbed up the ladder and changed them and I was so afraid he will fall cos the ceiling is quite high!

Super glad that Brendan & his sister Pamela came and helped me with packing my stuff into boxes a few days before my move cos they got a lot done. Joanna for being my little helper elf and Joyce for helping me clean my super dusty window (thank god she never fall out of the window!).

Glad I have such wonderful people who can help me out! :) Super loved! Thank you to all my darlings for helping me with my move and also settling in. 

Final Paycheck from CTC!

Went to my office to collect my final cheque! As I requested for early release, I did not receive a full month's salary.. but it's fine, cos I get to stay home and rest and not deal with shitty politics anymore!

Aaahh! It's great to be able to smile and breathe in the fresh air of freedom! No more stress and worry about factors you cannot control and no more pressure to prove my worth or do things that I know some people will never know/learn how to appreciate.

Thinking back, I do not regret these 3 years as I've travelled to many countries, met many people from all walks of life and had the opportunity to live out one of my childhood ambition -- which was to be a tourleader. :)

What's next?

I honestly don't know!! But I am irritated and frustrated that some my ex-colleagues are gossiping or speculating which travel agency I am defecting to. Now I know how those poor celebrities feel when the gossip rags bitch about them (even though I am no celebrity).

Before I joined CTC Holidays, I was a super newbie like with zero experience and zero knowledge of the travel industry.. fortunately my travel bug mother had brought me to some places for holidays and I am a fast learner.. so managed to learn a lot in a short span of 3 years. Moreover my manager, Jennifer really taught me a lot and covered up for many of my carelessness and mistakes that I've made in the beginning.. Some were so grave, I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I think about them now.

So, I think that it is kinda like a betrayal if I go to a competitor's agency immediately after I quit from CTC. It may seem that I was poached, or I am doing it out of spite, when in fact I quit without a back-up plan. I do not have any job offers or intention to look for a job when I handed in my resignation letter.

It's just that word kinda spread, and suddenly there are calls from managers/bosses from other travel companies inviting me to work for them. I am honored and kinda flattered as I am still consider a newbie in this trade with no colourful resume or fantastic knowledge or skills... Either I have good friends in right places or I have very good luck or maybe they got the wrong Jasmine Tay? Haha.

In total, I have 5 job offers at hand now, and since all of them are from different industries including the travel trade.. it is so difficult to make a choice as all of them open up different doors that will lead to different things in my life. I am at one of the most important crossroads of my life. Sigh. Another milestone.

So.. why did I quit?

Well, in any situation, be it work or school or relationship... when one party keeps giving and giving and giving, one day he/she will reach a maximum boiling point. For me, instead of self-destruction or being bitter, I chose to walk away. It's my SOP (standard operating procedure) for dealing with problems. Most of the time, I walk away and choose not to have any direct confrontations. Some may say I am a coward, some may say I like to avoid solving problems. But has it occurred to you that walking away is also a solution to a problem? Being mature enough to take the heat and label of being a loser and walk away when in fact you are just trying to resolve the issue by taking yourself out of the situation and reduce any "injuries"?

Did anyone call Switzerland a coward for sitting out from the World War? What about Thailand? Perhaps you may think they are cowards, but by not being involved in the war, they minimized their losses and saved their citizens' lives and properties. Is that a brave and mature thing to do? You may disagree, but this is my own personal opinion.

Fighting back may not always be the bravest thing to do.

Not everyone sees things the way I do, and I do admit that I can be strange and weird sometimes cos I do not think or do things the conventional way.. but as long as the end results is what I desire, who cares how I get there? I don't care about the process/journey but only the end result.

And, I believe that my virtues are my strengths and not weaknesses. Being honest, truthful and straightforward should be encouraged and not discouraged. With constructive feedback comes improvement and advancement. Some people may get ahead with lies and backstabbing and playing stupid pointless politic "games", but at the end of the day, if you don't have the capability nor talent nor effort, it's just a house of cards that you are building up that will collapse at the slightest pressure. Period.

I enjoy travelling and meeting new people. I would love to continue to be a tourleader for a few more years and travel the world.. however I don't see how I can do that in CTC, nor I do not want to be labelled a defector and go to another company at this point in time..

And though one may say I need not care what others may say about me, well.. personally I don't give a fuck what others may say about my actions/words or whatever since I'm used to being flamed and insulted since like so long ago, BUT I do care about my reputation and image. People may call me a bitch or a slut.. but they do not have the proof to back that up. So it's just a baseless conjecture or a personal attack -- which i honestly don't bother. But by doing that jumping company thingy, i will give people an opportunity to spread gossips about my reputation and image which I do care a lot about.

So for now, I shall sit back and relax enjoy my well deserved break for the next few weeks.