Sunday, January 2, 2005

Moving home again.. :(

,
13 more days before i have to leave my watercrest home.
I've tried to throw away as many things i can. Almost 50% of my already diminished belongings are gone. Hopefully i can just lug a bag and leave and disappear somewhere.

"I want you to be happy again"
said Mr Kns.
But can i ever truly be happy again?
the hours passes by like a blur, and i feel so.. detached to everything. like.. numbed.. maybe it's my body's natural reaction.. you know, create a numbing sensation which allows me to not feel, not think and just stare into space and wake up 4 hours later wondering how did time pass by so quickly.

"I'm very hurt my daughter don't want to answer my phone calls"
said my Dad to my Grandmother.
I told you i was sleeping that day cos i didn't slept for 2 whole days. I told you i will talk when i've cooled down. But no, you have to talk all kinds of nonsense to her, and just now she had to give me a lengthy nag. I HATE people who nag at me. I was trying my hardest to respect her and not talk back, but she kept on ranting and ranting till i told her to stop minding in my business. Why must you drag another person into the equation! Not complicated enough is it?! What the fuck.

I don't wish to go back to school tomorrow.
I don't like to study something i have absolutely no interest in.
I don't like the school environment.
I don't like the people there.
I don't like the teachers.

Tooth decay.
I have so many tooth decays.. even though i don't smoke and Mr Kns do, i have more tooth problem than him..
Now i think i know the reason why.
Long term of force vomiting is causing my tooth to corode cos of the acid from my stomach.

Public Holiday today.. but nowhere and nothing to do.
I want to go swimming again, but there's this weirdo who kept on walking around the pool to observe me swimming. I feel like a goldfish when he's there.

I'm so sad i scare myself.
I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.I'm so sad i scare myself.

Sometimes i wonder why i'm still holding on.. for what?
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