Thursday, May 24, 2007

Goofy, Joyce's new dog!

Goofy was born on the day Joyce's mum passed away. So coincidence hor!
Why Goofy? Cos on the first day it arrived at her house, it went to lick the Goofy poster.

hur hur.

Super cute. But super naughty. I think everyone in her family spoiling him. Joyce ah! Better discipline Goofy before he becomes a spoilt brat like Monster (Money's dog)!
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Happy Birthday to my Mum!


Her birthday is merely days after Mother's Day.

And since she loves Cheesecake, we drove to Hilton to buy one! :)

Hilton Hotel cheesecake sponsored by Mr. Big Canon.

Many thanks to Mr Pipimon who braved the traffic and brought back the cake in one piece.
Mum treated us to dinner at Plaza Market Cafe in Raffles City Shopping Centre..

The place was huge! So many chairs.. But so little people.

My sister gave my mum her present by hiding it inside the napkin. The waiter nearly cleared it away. LOL.I gave my mum her present the next day (on her actual day 17th May).

Talking about baby.. My baby sister is growing up. sighs. THAT MEANS I AM GETTING OLDER!
Sometimes i see my sister, i get a shock, cos it's like looking at myself - a younger version. It's scary,  I wonder is this the reason why my mum sometimes look at me intently, thinking i'm not noticing, and reminisces about her youth? Will i do the same thing 20 years later when my daughter (if i do have one) has grown up?

My sister has a bad memory, but she remembers stuff i said 10 years ago.

Wah lao.

Things i say to frighten and scare her when she was young has come back to haunt me.

I remember bringing her to Pasar Malams to buy food.. and we love to eat those herbal eggs. While walking back home, i'll peel the shell off and throw on the grass. Well, i was young ok. Now i never litter liao. So when she chided me and say "Teacher say cannot litter, so Jie jie why you litter?".. Guess what's my reply?

I told her i'm not littering. I'm growing mushrooms. Cos mushrooms grow from herbal tea egg shells. She widened her eyes in disbelief but didn't argue with me, even though i know she didn't believe me. Come one lah, it's a stupid excuse right?


The next day, when she walked to school, she saw mushrooms growing on the very same spot where i threw the egg shells.


From then on, i'm her GOD. Whatever i say/or high tales i spin, she'll believe.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Love hate relationship with my mum

It's Mother's Day today!

Bought a cake for my mum!

She says she's too ugly to take pictures.. cos her hair is in a mess and she's wearing an apron.

But i think she looks nicer without makeup and flashy clothes (cos look so aunty). Au natural is nice.. looks so MUMSY.

And as each day passes, i'm reminded by how much alike the both of us are.. even Pipimon keep on commenting "same factory" when we display same characteristics and temper.

Honestly i hated my mum when i was young. Well, to tell the truth, it's until recently only i learnt how to appreciate her. Everyone says i'm wrong, i'm naughty, i'm ungratful for hating my mum and not treating her nice enough. But isn't love a two way thing? I don't believe in one sided love. If a guy i likes doesn't like me, i'll move on. If a friend i care about doesn't appreciate me, i'll move on.
So if my mum doesn't love me, why must i love her back? Don't give me the crap like "Oh, she had you in her stomach for 10 months.." Shit. If you don't want children, don't give birth.

I hated her cos she was blatantly bias and pampered my brother like he's the king even though he's a monster. I remembered EVERY single injustice she served me when i was young. She used to cane me every single night. It'll be a miracle if she doesn't cane me for one day. Unless she's on holiday or something lah. She cane me for no apparent reasons.

  • weather too hot
  • quarrel with _______ (anyone)
  • bored
  • _________ (whatever stupid reason you can think of)
She canes me for no apparent reason. (repeated point to emphasize)Remember those 30cents thin, brown, bamboo canes sold in markets? With the multi coloured hooks? Well, my mum has the whole collection of colours. You know why?Cos everytime she caned me, the force she used is so strong that the cane will break.Even when she tied 5 together, she can manage to break them.And my flesh actually opened up before.. many times. She aims places where my friends can see them to further humiliate me. My hands and legs (not covered by clothings).Don't say cane, i kena whacked by broom (until the handle broke, and it's a new broom), metal hangers, belt and whatever she can lay her hands on, she'll use it to beat me up.

Being the stupid and filial daughter i am, when teachers/strangers/relatives ask me why i have so many bruises, i'll say: "i fall down."She even played along and told everyone that i'm a tomboy and always climb up and down (even though i very lazy and always lying on the bed reading my Nancy Drews).The thing is, she don't appreciate me covering up for her, and she continues to beat me EVERYDAY.

This kind call mother??

She can think of so many ways to torture me. Kneeling on bottle caps, rubbing my lips with fresh chilli seeds, and so on. She once threatened to throw me out of the house, naked. If you love your daughter, will you even think of such a thing to do??

Last time, collecting stickers is the IN thing. I used to have like 5 sticker albums and during recess time, i'll trade stickers with my friends. Hologram, furry, pop up stickers are the most valuable ones. And i have more "special" stickers than most people cos my dad was always travelling and he buys back expensive and nice stickers from overseas for me.

One day, i found my lil brother tearing up my beloved stickers.What would you do? Imagine you're 11 years old and your stickers mean the world to you. Now you see your 4 yr old baby brother tearing up your stickers. What would you do?I SCREAMED AT HIM LAH! I scolded him a big idiot. And i snatched back my sticker albums. Than that fucker cry and scream. Knn. My mother came out, and she saw me shouting at him and her darling son crying, she slapped me, took the sticker album from my hands and gave it to my brother.She ordered me to kneel on the "Welcome" mat - those 3M plasticy woven mats for 4 hours.Whatever. Kneel kneel lah!

But you know what's the greatest insult + humiliation?

My idiotic brother sat in front of me and tore up my remaining stickers ONE BY ONE and laughed in my face. At the age of 4 he's already an asshole. So it's no surprise how he turned out to be a bigger asshole now. So put yourself in my shoes. Will you hate your mother for doing that? That's one of the the countless incidents that built up my hatred for her and scorn for my brother.

This particular incident happened when i was 11 yrs old, in primary 5. While kneeling there for the full 4 hours, i stared at him, crying with anger and bubbling with hatred. I kept repeating to myself:

And i kept reminding myself that i have to be stronger, i have to be braver and i have to be meaner.
So from that incident onwards, i became a rebel. My mum forced me to rebel. It's not like i'm turning into a teenager than i become rebellious overnight. It's being poisoned by hatred.. slowly. So whenever my mum scolded me or screamed at me after that incident, i'll scream back, slam the door, run away from home.. blah blah. And after a while, she gave up.I treat her as dead, she treat me as invisible. Everytime we talk, it'll end up with shouting and arguing. I sneak out in the middle of the night to go discos take party drugs at Mohammad Sultan with my ah beng "kor kors", go for illegal street racing in marina south and some ulu road where they bury people, play truant and became a terror in sec sch, and basically turned into a fucked up/messed up teenager. hey, but miraculously, i was really turned off my cigarettes even though everyone around me smoked.

oh well, i kinda learnt to forgive but i won't forget.. cos that's my character. she told me she was young (19 yrs old when she had me) and hot tempered that's why she took everything out on me. and she learnt her lesson, that's why she didn't resort to violence and beat my siblings even when they misbehave, cos..
"i don't want them to hate me like how you hate me".

but then again, i told her she made me hate her, and i didn't had a choice. now i still feel uncomfortable and weird to say "I love you" to her or even hug her, cos it's not easy to do such stuff when you hate a person for more than 10 years - even though she's your mother (so what?).

It's very difficult to explain to people and make them understand that i feel it's justified to hate my own mother.

Anyway, here's to our love-hate relationship~

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