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Monday, April 22, 2013

My Religion

I seldom talk about religion in my blog because I believe that everyone is entitled to their own choice and the free will to make decisions for themselves. You choose who you want to believe and who you want to follow.

But today I am going to share a bit about how I became a Christian.

I started going to church with Le bf in August last year and accepted Christ in December. Before I got together with Le bf, I was an atheist who don't believe in God, but believed in fate. Why certain things happens, who we will meet in our lives, karma and stuff.

I was a born Buddhist. It's written in my birth certificate. I've grown up with my grandmother so I've always accompanied her to temples when she go and give offerings and burn joss-sticks. She will make me kneel in front of her and clasp my hands together and pray to the deity asking for blessings and for me to grow up well and have good results in my studies. So I have quite a good understanding and exposure to the prayers, festivals and stuff since young.

I had some knowledge about Christianity and Catholics because I attended an all-girls Catholic Secondary school which I hated. I hate that the school was not my first choice. I hate that 99% of my good friends are in other schools. I hate my mother for forcing me to go to that school because she thinks "it's a good school" and I won't have boyfriends since it's an all-girls school. Guess what mum? I had a boyfriend since Sec 1 and subsequently few boyfriends from other schools. Stupid mentality. But anyway, we had like bible classes, chapel sessions, daily prayers, mass, saints day and all the religious stuff which they forced on everyone despite their beliefs and religion because we 'chose' to go to a Catholic school so we must follow their ways... but I think times have changed now.. not too sure cos I refuse to be their alumni and I don't want to be associated with them at all cos some of the teachers I had were full of shit and I just had lots of bad experiences there.

Also, I had very bad impression about Christianity when I was younger cos of the City Harvest craze where they kept recruiting new members and being so over the top with their sermons and all the preachy shit of the those new age pastors and nonsense seminars. I attended a few cellgroups and were so overwhelmed by the amount of bullshit going on, my eyes nearly fell out from all the rolling. Like seriously! They were saying things like "Please pray for me because I am having a stomachache and if you pray for me I will not feel like shitting.".. Seriously? Got shit go and shit lah! Pray simi-sai!

I guess it's not about the subject but the person who introduce you to the subject that matters. I hated Mandarin classes but I had good Chinese tutors who managed to make the subject more fun and interesting when they tell me about Chinese history and proverbs.

Le bf is a Christian but he never ever forced his religious views on me, from Day 1 when we were classmates till we got together. He led by example, showed me how he lived his life and I was curious on how strong his faith was. He's not those crazies that preach about God non-stop telling people they are going to hell, inserting biblical references in every conversations or doing any of the preachy crazy shit. Instead of telling me, he showed me the way.

He did not ask me to go to church with him, he let me follow him at my own pace and own comfort level. I woke him up by giving him a morning call every Sunday (though I did not follow). Then one day I decided to ask if I can go to church with him and see what it is like cos I had bad experiences at other churches before and had a prejudice which I wanted to overcome. Then I started to join some of his cellgroup sessions and found out that his cellgroup mates are really friendly and fun people who are just normal people who believed in God and the word of the bible.. After a few months of joining church service and cellgroup sessions, I decided to accept Christ in my life and be a Christian.

My friends were surprised (and shocked) when I told them that I've convert to Christianity. Some questioned my motive, asking if I did it for the sake of Le bf or his mother. Well, the true reason is known by God and people can say what they want to say and I don't really care because their thoughts and criticisms doesn't matter. The ultimate judgement is from God and He knows everything that I've thought about and even things that I've not yet thought about.

Well, many people said I've changed a lot.. for the better. In terms of looks, composure and attitude. I am a happier person now, I look prettier & happier cos I don't worry so much as before, I am a calmer person who don't fly off the handle at every little thing. My sister also commented "Wah! Last time you confirm ki-siao and get angry! Why are you so calm now???". I have a more positive outlook of life and believe that my life is good and will be better because God is with me all the way. Even when I die, my soul will go to Heaven where I can spend eternity with my loved ones without suffering in Hell. Dying is not scary, the scary part is where you are going after you die.

So they asked me "Tell me your secret! What did you do?". The secret is no secret. If you have a strong faith and belief that God is real and He can protect you from anything, then you have nothing to fear. Just leave all your fears, doubts and worries in His hand and He will provide.

I believe that I have a full time guardian angel by my side.. there's a few occasions where there's divine interventions in my life which cannot be explained but I credit it to my guardian angel. I've shared about those experiences with my friends and they may think I am lucky or it's just a coincidence, but I believed I was blessed and protected by my guardian angel and God.

I always joke with Le bf that one day when I die and finally meet my guardian angel, he will bring out a super thick book and say: "OK. Now we have eternity to chat and let me tell you how busy you kept me throughout your life....", then we will laugh together. :) Also, we believe that our guardian angels are good friends now and must be saying "Finally the two of them are together! Took them long enough!!", because our lives crossed 6 years ago.

Though my expenses are still very high and we have additional costs to pay for our upcoming wedding, this month I decided to start giving tithe to our church. A tithe is 1/10th of your income that you give to the church voluntarily as support for the church. I used to scorn this concept and think that the people who willing give up 10% of their income for the church is brainwashed and stupid, but a phrase I heard from our cellgroup friend changed my mindset. She said "it's not giving up 10% of your income to God, it's God allowing you to keep the remaining 90%.", and that's so true. Everything we have, all that we have is from God and giving back 10% to the church to help them doing good deeds and spread the word of God is just a really small contribution that I can make. I am healthy, young and have the best paying job out of my whole working career life, all are God's blessings.

I am also studying for the Baptism Class before I can get baptized  Hopefully I can finish reading all the books and assignments by June in time for the next Baptism.

I hope that my friends and people I love will embrace God like I did, but I will not preach or force it on them. I will lead my life together with Le bf as an example on how two God fearing Christians can have a happy family and marriage life together because of God's grace and mercy. Amen.


Blessedkids' Mum said...

Hi Jasmine, I chanced upon your blog while helping my sis to check on guo da li stuff. You are a strong woman and God has a purpose for you. I hv read thru your blog in last hour. God bless you and may have a blissful ahead with Brendan.

Jasmine Tay said...

Thank you! :) God bless you!