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Sunday, January 22, 2012

CNY Reunion dinner

Had a simple reunion dinner at my mum's elder sister house just now. It's been ages since I had home cooked food and I felt so.. warm and happy. :)

I call her "Emama" and I'm closer to her than my mum because she took care of me when I was a little girl for a few years and she sincerely cares for my well-being unlike my mother.

She told me that whenever my mum talks to her about me, my mum will start crying. She said that my mum misses me a lot... When she said that, I was scoffing and choking on my porkball because I don't believe my mum can be so sentimental or emotional over a daughter that she doesn't really love. The only person she loves in this world is herself, and the only other person is my brother.

Anyone else who she claims she loves or who claims that she loves them is lying to themselves or seriously deluded and needs a bitch-slap from me to wake up from their self-perceived fantasy of hope and craziness.

I have said this once and many times, but people who judge me for being "so mean" or "so bad" to my mother can go fuck off because they know shit about her and how she treated me since I was young. She stole from me, lied to me, hit me, tortured me (mentally & physically) and basically is the main culprit of my predicament today. Only very close friends or people whom I let into my inner circle knows the true story. Only a handful knows the whole story.

By the way, my mum wasn't at the dinner. I only agreed to go because she's going overseas on a tour assignment (she is working in Five Stars Travel as a tourleader).

I am working tomorrow and on Tuesday and basically the whole week except for my 2 OFF days. My colleagues and clients are all asking me "Y U NO OFF ON CNY?!" .. Well, I volunteered for the CNY shift when my boss asked me (though he was embarrassed to ask me but he has no choice because alot of people were on leave, even the foreigners and he kinda knows I have no family) and I will always try my best to accommodate or help others.

People may think that I am weird, or maybe they might feel sorry for me, staying alone.. being all alone for CNY with no festivities, no family, blah blah blah.

Well, that's life. Life sucks and you die.. That's what I use to believe but recently things have kinda changed and I have renewed hope that somehow, maybe things are improving for me. *fingers crossed*

And I won't be alone during CNY. :)

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